Hello, and welcome back.
If you've been following along with us on the Sex and Relationships podcast, you'll know that we spend a lot of time exploring the relationship you have with yourself, with partners, with family. But today, we're turning our attention to something that often slips quietly to the back of the queue: your friendships.
In this episode, Aileen and I take a warm, honest, and at times funny look at the friendships we collect through life, from school gates to workplace corridors, from brunch groups to the friend you can call at midnight when everything falls apart. If you've ever felt guilty for neglecting a friendship, baffled by a falling-out, or quietly wondered why some friends energise you and others leave you feeling oddly hollow, this one's for you.
Hello, and welcome back.
If you've ever felt that uncomfortable knot in your stomach when a partner comes home late, or that pang when a colleague lands the promotion you were hoping for, then you've met our topic for today — jealousy.
In this episode of the Sex and Relationships podcast, Aileen and I have an honest, warm, and hopefully illuminating conversation about what jealousy actually is, where it comes from, and crucially what you can do about it. If you haven't listened yet, do go and find it at thesexandrelationshipspodcast.com. This blog is a companion to that conversation; something to sit with, reflect on, and come back to whenever those green-eyed feelings show up.
Hello!
If you've found your way here, chances are the word "parents" stirs something in you. It might be a flicker of warmth or a tightening in your chest. It could be both at once. If that’s you, be reassured that that's completely normal. In fact, it's one of the most human things there is.
In our latest episode of the Sex and Relationships podcast, Aileen Gonsalves and I sat down to talk about something we've called the parental minefield. And what a topic it turned out to be: rich, tender, occasionally funny, and at times quite activating even for us.
Hello again.
In this blog I’m talking about work and I don't mean the 'what do you do?' kind of conversation. I mean your relationship with work - how you feel about it, how much space it takes up in your life and whether it feeds you or drains you. I’m also going to talk about the relationships you have within work – relationships with colleagues, line managers, unrequited crushes, unwanted attention. It can all get tangled up together, can't it?
Work is where we spend so much of our living time. Yet how often do we actually pause to ask ourselves: do I like my job? What do I like about it? Is it the people, the doing, the creativity? Would I rather be doing something entirely different - working with my hands, or outside, or, or, or…..?
These are questions we're asked as children at school, but we don't always ask them again.
Hello, and welcome back.
If you've ever found yourself thinking, 'What on earth was I thinking? This person is all wrong for me' when previously they seemed perfect, you're not alone.
Most of us will have had the experience of meeting someone and feeling like we’ve come home. Everything feels magnetic, sublime even. There's astonishing chemistry, the sex is incredible, you're finishing each other's sentences, laughing at the same jokes. It's bliss.
And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the same person who made you feel whole starts doing your head in! Suddenly, their quirks aren't endearing, they're exasperating. Maybe they wont stop (or start) talking or their attitude to money makes no sense – they’re stingy or reckless or they’re so uptight about keeping the place tidy…. Everything that at the start drew you together now pushes you apart; what was once complementary has now become divisive. You've moved from bliss to blame.
This shift can feel bewildering, even devastating. You might find yourself rolling your eyes when out with friends, recruiting them to validate that yes, you're right and your partner is very VERY wrong. You might feel resentful, superior or just plain stuck. The relationship that once felt like the answer now feels like the problem.
Hello again!
In this episode Aileen and I venture into slightly different territory - relationships with non-humans. We take you ‘on a tour’ of myriad relationships we may not think about much but are really important - the connections we have with pets, places, nature, time, even food and faith. These relationships shape our days, can comfort us, challenge us, and sometimes even reveal parts of ourselves we didn't know were there.
If you've ever felt utterly transformed after a walk by the sea or noticed how your dog seems to know exactly when you're feeling low or found yourself reaching for the biscuit tin when you're anxious rather than hungry you'll know what we’re talking about. In our opinion, these aren't trivial connections - they matter deeply.
Hello! Welcome back.
In this blog I’m talking about something that might sound a bit odd at first: your relationship with yourself. Whilst our relationships with others matter enormously, many of us fail to recognise this foundational relationship from which all others happen. This primary relationship, the one we have with ourselves, is often sidelined, neglected, or missed entirely whilst we focus outward on everyone else.
If that sounds unfamiliar or even uncomfortable, you're not alone.
Hello!
Holidays. High days and holy days. Gatherings with family and friends that are meant to be wonderful (and sometimes are) can also leave us feeling drained, disappointed, or downright bewildered. If you've ever walked away from Christmas dinner or a family holiday wondering what on earth went wrong, you're not alone. My inbox is always rammed in January and after the summer holidays with confused people trying to make sense of what happened.
Hello!
When someone asks you about your relationships, what springs to mind? If you're like most people, you probably think immediately of your romantic partner – or the lack of one. In other words, “I have a relationship” or “I’m not in a relationship”. That's completely natural, our culture holds up the intimate sexual relationship as the pinnacle, the pièce de résistance of human connection.